God Demands Apology from Albert Pujols For Showing Him Up

Houston, Texas - In a profound plea to preserve the integrity of baseball, God demanded an apology from St. Louis Cardinal slugger Albert Pujols for showing him up on saturday during the seventh inning of a game with the Houston Astros. After posing to watch his majestic two run shot as is his usual custom, Pujols rounded the bases, and upon reaching home plate, inexplicably pointed towards the celestial dugout. Pujols returned to the dugout to the boisterous applause of his teammates who appeared oblivious to the irreverential display of hubris towards the game of baseball.

Immediately following the game God was confronted by reporters who wished to hear his reaction to Pujols’ celebration. God responded irately saying, “You just don’t do that. This game has a storied history that doesn’t deserve to be tarnished by such unprofessional gimmicks.” Said God, “If Pujols were a professional, I would fully expect him to apologize for his lack of respect. Baseball is bigger than all of us.”

When asked about his celebration Pujols was quick to dismiss the criticism. “If God didn’t want me to celebrate in such a way, he wouldn’t have made [Doug] Brocail an inferior pitcher, and me so good at baseball.”

Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa was unavailable for comment after the game and was said to be enforcing the club’s stadium wide “Shirt Tucked In” policy in the reserved terrace seating level.

adminnote:Admin Note: An Onion-like article by our very own, vismund.

LOL, where'd you get this one?

I wrote it.

Ha ha, this is good stuff. Sounds like something that would be in The Onion. Hey, you should submit it to them maybe they'd toss you a few bucks and publish it.

vismund wrote:I wrote it.

Nice work. Reminds me of my fake Game Recap I did earlier in the season. This one should go in the HOF posts, too.

I get really tired of Pujols pointing at the sky. Listen, Pujols, we aren't fromt he D.R. We're Americans, and we've seen airplanes before. We thought it was cool too, when we were 10. Now cut that shit out.

"Da plane, Da plane."

Actually, what would be funny is to post that on the main ESPN board and see what dumb fucks actually believe it.

Might as well give some Karma out for that one Vismund........yeah put it onto the ESPN board, I bet you atleast 1 person buys it.

speaking of onion articles

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/brett_favre_on_learning